SoapBox Series #2: Women’s Rights-Not what you think

Standard

A topic I feel extremely passionate about is women’s rights, but probably not in the way you think. Don’t worry, this will not be a history lesson, or a male-hating post. I promise.

I want to explain what these women were fighting so hard for. They were fighting for the right to have a choice. A choice. Not a mandate or requirement. They were fighting for a woman to be able to choose to vote. Not require her. (Although, you really should vote.) They were fighting for women to have the choice to be in the workforce. Not mandate her to work. Women today are still fighting for equality, but let me tell you that equality does not always look the same. What works for one woman might not work for the other. However, they are equal. A woman can stay home, raise children, cook dinner, and maintain the house, and she is just as equal as the woman CEO of a large company. They are equal. Both women should have the right to choose what they want to do.

Sadly, many feel our culture has made so many advancements in women’s rights. In fact, some think we might even live long enough to see a female president. I am arguing that we have not made as many advancements as we think, but instead have become a culture that is just as enslaving as it once was. We’ve just changed what it looks like. Instead of a culture that makes women stay home and not have a voice or opinion about anything, we are becoming a culture who makes women work in the workforce, and feel the need to have an opinion and a voice about everything. This is just as harmful and just as restricting.

I am a working mother, and that is strictly due to our financial situation. If we could manage to have the life style we have without me working, then I would stay at home. No question. However, even when I’ve considered this option, many have been quick to be judgemental. I’ve heard things from “You’re too smart to be a stay-at-home mom” to “You wouldn’t just throw your education out the window like that, would you?” Since when did we become a culture more worried about the status of our job, then raising well-rounded, healthy children?! This post ties slightly back to SoapBox Series #1, in that I recognize I love spending all day with my chid, and I realize some women are not built for that. But wouldn’t it be nice to just be able to choose with out the judgemental comments and glances? See, I’m one who can take it, and am one who doesn’t have a problem confronting you about this topic, but what about the other women out there struggling with the thought of staying home? Who is fighting for that woman? Well, I am. If you are a stay-at-home mother, then I admire you. You have learned patience in a way others don’t even know. You most likely multi-task better than any project manager, and you likely keep your clients and employees (children) happier than any CEO. I will even argue that your blessing from your job are far greater than a six figure salary. I applaud you, and I see you every bit as equal as the well-known business woman. If you are a working woman, then please know I respect you too. In some fields it is tough to be a woman out there, and many of you hold those jobs and do it better than anyone else.

Now, if you’re a woman, please know you have the right to choose. No one can make you do anything. If you’re a man, then please let the women in your life know that you support her no matter what her choice is. And then, just maybe then, we will become a country that our foremothers (is that a word??? Spell check doesn’t think so.) once dreamed about.

 

SoapBox #1: Children as a Negative

Standard

Have you ever had someone say, “Oh, trust me, you’ll be begging me one day to watch her/him?” or how about “I’m sure you want a break” or even the polite “it’s just for a night/weekend. You can stand being away from him/her for a day or two.” I know these sayings are often said with love and good intentions, but they get on my last nerve. Here is a crazy concept: I like my child. I want to spend every minute I can with her, especially since I’m a working mom. I enjoy her. I get your children might have driven you crazy. I get not all people are built with a patience for children, but I am not that mom or that woman. I love kids. I’ve always chosen a profession surrounded by children. So, I don’t ever want to escape my own. Let me be clear: I am not judging you if you are the mom that wants a break. God built us all different, and I am not one to judge. I just want it made clear that I don’t WANT to ever be without her.Now, there are times that it is necessary for me to be without her: work, certain social functions, date night with the hubs, etc. However, even in those moments, although necessary, I don’t want to be without her.

I feel like our culture is slowly turning a negative side to having children. Have you read the most recent FB posts or blog articles? They are always directed at how to “survive” or “things to do before having children.” There is some good in these articles. It’s even refreshing when someone can be open and honest with you about something difficult like raising a child, but the whole experience is not a negative one. Negative is how those articles leave you feeling. I am here to tell you that having a child is one of the biggest blessings God has ever blessed me with. Is it hard sometimes? Heck yes! Do I need help a lot of the time? Yes! But I love her more than I can explain, and it gets on my last nerve to hear people talk so negatively. It also breaks my heart. I’m sorry you aren’t feeling the same overwhelming joy and love I have for my own child, and I hope you find it someday. However, in the meantime, I love my child. I love spending time with her, and no I don’t need an escape.