Vulnerability

Standard

I feel like I have many topics worthy of a blog right now, but I think vulnerability is a good place to start.

I have shared before that I have wanted to start a blog for years, but just now decided to get around to it. Is it that my life was so busy I didn’t have time to start one? I’d like to tell you yes, but the truth is my life with a 10 month old is way more fast paced and busy than it’s ever been. So, that’s not a truthful answer. The real answer is: I’d feel vulnerable. I love words, and I love writing, and even think I have a lot of good ideas/opinions/thoughts that everyone should have a chance to hear. However, could  I actually sit down and type them out when I knew they’d be open to anyone in the world to read? And could I allow not just anyone, but my closest family and friends to know what I think? This is a very scary thing for me. What will they think? What if I really can’t write? What if no one wants to read what I have to say? What if no one understands me? 

I just said, “I love to write.” I do. But, I haven’t done any writing, because good works of writing evoke emotion and feelings. Those emotions and feelings would most likely be known to me through experiences I’ve had before. But, again, am I brave enough to share them? For 27 years the answer has been “NO!”. Then I saw this:

382707_4949285011275_683585383_n

This quote showed me that it was okay to not be “great” at something your first try. How else will you ever improve if you don’t try? Sure, that’s not a new concept, but this quote woke me up to it. So what if no one likes how I write? So what if a post here and there really stinks? It doesn’t matter. What matters is I’m giving myself the chance to grow. A chance to push myself to uncharted waters. A chance to really dive in and experience something great, and tap into a piece of myself I may not be familiar. A chance to close the gap. So, I’m making a commitment here and now (which I’m also fearful of) to continue writing. To go through volumes of work, so that one day my work will be as great as my ambitions. Will you join me?

Perspective

Standard

Perspective (noun): 5. the state of one’s ideas, the facts known to one, etc. (Dictionary.com)

Perspective. It’s a funny thing. It’s unique to each individual, and unique to each life circumstance. I think perspective and wisdom go hand in hand. The more wise you get, the more facts known to you, the more your perspective changes.

10 and a half months ago, Frank and I brought a precious baby girl in the world. Since then, my perspective on life has changed drastically. I don’t think I truly understood the truth “life is short” or “we aren’t promised tomorrow”. I mean, I thought I did, until I had a child. My perspective changed. It has become a reality that life is short, and that I’m not promised tomorrow. So, today, all I can do is praise Jesus for the opportunity to know my daughter, to love her, and to be privileged with the responsibility of raising her. I am a planner by nature. I love to make plans. I love to-do lists, and I love a schedule.  What I struggle with is living in the moment. However, that’s what I need to be doing. Living in the moment. Relishing in the now. Not sitting here making plans for tomorrow. Don’t get me wrong, there is a place for goals and dreams, but it’s important to not let the days just pass by.

A wise woman told me “Just wait…your perspective will change, again.” I believe she’s right. Like I said, with wisdom comes a change in perspective, but for right now I’m going to live in this moment with this perspective.